First, many thanks to my good e-friend, Mrs. Chili. She's linked me (that sounds dirty, but really isn't) a few times and I now have new readers! Thank you so much. I am truly humbled.
So, how've you been? Me? I've been pretty much bedridden for damn near a week. Official diagnosis came Monday - double ear infection and infected pesky tonsils. I'm tired of being sick and I'm already officially sick and tired of Christmas.
Things I learned while being sick in bed for several days.
*Daytime TV sucks. After 10 minutes of each and every talk show, you begin to question if the Theory of Natural Selection is really even working. Who ARE these people?
*Over the counter medication should not be considered for the "more is better" equation. The drunk that ensues after taking pills and swiggin' them down with cough medicine is pretty funny. I could barely focus long enough to remember where the bathroom was.
*Scalding hot soup is still scalding hot 2.3 seconds after you burn your mouth the first time, but still try again. The burn inside your mouth will hurt for EVER.
*Hospitals are the place to both BE sick and to GET sick. For I was at the hospital on Thursday while my dad had surgery, started having symptoms Friday.
I am considering using my few days of sickness to cancel Christmas here at Chez Snob. I love Christmas, usually, but it seems that I simply don't have time for all the drama. Here it is, December 6 and I can't even fathom decorating. We have some outdoor stuff up, so the neighbor's don't think I'm a bad mom or anything, but inside....well, I just took the Halloween stuff down last week. I don't like to decorate until after Booger's birthday, which is Friday (The Feast of Immaculate Conception for all you doubters). Then the decor must be removed and sent back to the garage my birthday, which is 5 days after Christmas. That leaves approximately 20 days for the decorations to be up, which really? All that work? For 20 days? I know, I'm a freak and don't like for Booger to share her birthday with Christmas nor am I willing to share mine. It's a thing.
Also, I am terrible at early gift shopping. I have always been and always shall I be. I take so much time determining what I am going to buy you, that when I decide - well, I just want to give it to you. Now. Right now. Here it is. Look how cute I am picking the right gift! You will love it!!!! Except, wait...it's only the beginning of December. Now you have nothing to open on Christmas. So I have to buy something else. Instead, I brainstorm and research and freak out, then go running around town and online about December 20 and buy everything in one or two days. Staying up all night to wrap, then relishing in the glorious gift giving. Sadly, I usually have too high of expectations from others and end up disappointed since I spent hours and hours finding your gift, only to receive from you something generic you bought in July on clearance. I am such a glutton for punishment. It's not that I am not thankful for the thought, it's that you didn't think - you wrapped all the gifts, then simply threw names on them. No thought, only requirement. So not the spirit in which gift giving was intended. I will sustain my course of action and perhaps start on a Christmas gift 12 step program come January.
So, how've you been? Me? I've been pretty much bedridden for damn near a week. Official diagnosis came Monday - double ear infection and infected pesky tonsils. I'm tired of being sick and I'm already officially sick and tired of Christmas.
Things I learned while being sick in bed for several days.
*Daytime TV sucks. After 10 minutes of each and every talk show, you begin to question if the Theory of Natural Selection is really even working. Who ARE these people?
*Over the counter medication should not be considered for the "more is better" equation. The drunk that ensues after taking pills and swiggin' them down with cough medicine is pretty funny. I could barely focus long enough to remember where the bathroom was.
*Scalding hot soup is still scalding hot 2.3 seconds after you burn your mouth the first time, but still try again. The burn inside your mouth will hurt for EVER.
*Hospitals are the place to both BE sick and to GET sick. For I was at the hospital on Thursday while my dad had surgery, started having symptoms Friday.
I am considering using my few days of sickness to cancel Christmas here at Chez Snob. I love Christmas, usually, but it seems that I simply don't have time for all the drama. Here it is, December 6 and I can't even fathom decorating. We have some outdoor stuff up, so the neighbor's don't think I'm a bad mom or anything, but inside....well, I just took the Halloween stuff down last week. I don't like to decorate until after Booger's birthday, which is Friday (The Feast of Immaculate Conception for all you doubters). Then the decor must be removed and sent back to the garage my birthday, which is 5 days after Christmas. That leaves approximately 20 days for the decorations to be up, which really? All that work? For 20 days? I know, I'm a freak and don't like for Booger to share her birthday with Christmas nor am I willing to share mine. It's a thing.
Also, I am terrible at early gift shopping. I have always been and always shall I be. I take so much time determining what I am going to buy you, that when I decide - well, I just want to give it to you. Now. Right now. Here it is. Look how cute I am picking the right gift! You will love it!!!! Except, wait...it's only the beginning of December. Now you have nothing to open on Christmas. So I have to buy something else. Instead, I brainstorm and research and freak out, then go running around town and online about December 20 and buy everything in one or two days. Staying up all night to wrap, then relishing in the glorious gift giving. Sadly, I usually have too high of expectations from others and end up disappointed since I spent hours and hours finding your gift, only to receive from you something generic you bought in July on clearance. I am such a glutton for punishment. It's not that I am not thankful for the thought, it's that you didn't think - you wrapped all the gifts, then simply threw names on them. No thought, only requirement. So not the spirit in which gift giving was intended. I will sustain my course of action and perhaps start on a Christmas gift 12 step program come January.
4 Comments:
I'm linking you everywhere - you crack me up and I am nothing if not a generous friend who passes along the love...and the funny...
I agree with your christmas sentiments, but only a little. I've gotta tell you, I'm LOVING Amazon this year. Send-it-to-me-giftwrapped-dot-com! You can't go wrong with that! As a matter of fact, I've got a big old box in my foyer right now, and another getting ready to ship shortly. LOVE that my friends have wishlists, LOVE that they send shit to my door (and for free, even, if I spend enough, and I ALWAYS spend enough...)
Are you feeling any better???
I have to agree with Mrs. Chili about online shopping: SO the way to go. Shopping is getting so convenient,
Now if only people could spell,,,
Typed so fast I apparently mistook the comma for a period. I think it's chocolate deprivation - so sorry!
Serious grammar question here (not just nitpicking): from what I can find, in English "chez" is a preposition (borrowed from the French) that can mean either (1.) at the home of or (2.) with, among, or in the manner of. So why am I finding people online using it in sentences like "here at Chez Snob," like you did? That basically means "Here at at the home of Snob," and I have no idea why "Chez" would be capitalized. The examples I can find at dictionary sites are of the form "Holidays chez the Smiths are great," which is completely different from how you're using it. Help?
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