Wednesday, May 30, 2007
A day in the life
This morning, while Booger was at the table eating her bowl of Trix, the worst sound I've ever heard emanated from the bathroom just down the hall. A very angry, feral, gurgling sound. Peeking into the bathroom, the sight before me is still one that I simply can not believe. The toilet looked like a fountain....water bubbling and spraying, almost as tall as me....all over the damn place.

I had one of those Matrix moments....I just stared at the toilet and I swear to you everything went into super slow motion, every water droplet discernible, each new geyser of water bigger than the last. I didn't know what to do. Wasn't sure if I should turn the water off, stuff a towel in the toilet or what - there was water everywhere. I knew the city water guys were outside fiddling with something in the street, so I ran out there yelling and flailing my arms all over the place.

Now, I'm a conversationalist. I love the art and artistry of conversation. This moment, however, all conversation skills were lost. I will now re-enact that conversation for you. You're welcome.

Snob: (running, arms flailing) "What are you doing?? There's water!"
City Guy: "Huh?"
Snob: "Water!!! Everywhere!!! The toilet is gurgling, and spraying water! What are you DOING??!!!"
City Guy: (shouts to other City Guy 50 feet away at the truck) "Get me some green paint."
Snob: *blank stare, arms - possibly still flailing*
City Guy: "We're cleaning the drains, you said there's water?"
Snob: "Uh, YEAH. Water, fountains of water...coming out of my toilet."
City Guy: "Sorry about that. We must have had the pressure up too high. I'll mark this area with green paint for "low pressure" so they know not to turn it up so high."
Snob: *more blank staring*
City Guy: "There's water on your floor?"
Snob: "Yes, from the fountains of water. Yes. Water. On the floor. Lots of water."
City Guy: "Sorry about that. I'll put green paint here."
Snob: "So, uh, you're done, right? With the water?"
City Guy: "Yes, you're all set."
Snob: "Uh, okay then."

And with that I walked back across the street, sopped up the water and have sort of been confused ever since. It was a very strange morning.


Anonymous mrschili said...

Gotta love the rocket scientists they have working for the DPW.

Nothing got ruined, I hope (other than your morning)?

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