Mr. Snob was diagnosed a few years ago with a congenital heart defect in his aortic valve. He is in the best shape of his life, runs regularly and is, you know, a really good person. He has stress tests every year or 2 depending on the cardiologist's opinion. He had a stress test Monday. They didn't like the results of the test and show an area of his heart that doesn't seem to be getting enough oxygen. So, we have a cardiac cath scheduled for Friday.

His parents are on vacation for 2 more weeks halfway across the globe, his sister left to join them and isn't due back for a month. I am trying to remain positive and know it's "routine" to do these types of procedures. Except I don't DO routine. I run things through my head 4 million times and can not EVER let anything go. Especially now. Especially since I have had a bad feeling about this goddamned stress test since Saturday and look - I was right. I don't WANT to be right. I want to be wrong. And calm. And stop crying. But I can't. And it sucks.

I need to be strong and I will, but this waiting part sucks so bad. How can you not question your worth when you can't make the person you love stop hurting?

I'll probably pull this post down, but needed to write it down somewhere. Pray for me, friends. And for Mr. Snob. He's the best person I know.