The marathon is in six days. Mr. Snob is ready. The hotel room is booked. The sitter for Wonderdog confirmed. I’m trying to be ready. I have a list of things I need to bring (camera, video camera, cash, extra whatevers just in case….that sort of thing.) I am going to really try to enjoy myself. I’m terrified, though, and many people in my daily life are doing a poor job of understanding that. Some of them are pretty much saying I’m being silly or whatever with my worry. I don’t think they mean to be so condescending, but that’s how it feels. It makes me feel like I’m the only one who remembers. Race day will be 15 months to the day since they opened his chest with a chainsaw, cut open his heart, and replaced his aortic valve. Pardon me for remembering that day. Pardon me for remembering how I thought it would have hurt less if they would have cut me open instead of him. Pardon me for not wanting to risk that again. I get it. He’s healthier than ever. He’s ready. He’s been released from every single doctor we have. He’s trained…slow and steady….and done everything right.
Still. It’s hard for me. That may make me the bad guy. That may make me selfish. But that’s just too effing bad. I’m so proud of him. What he’s doing is amazing and a true inspiration. But as his wife, this sucks and I’ll feel so much better when it’s over.
You can track Mr. Snob on race day, this Sunday, October 19 at www.detroitmarathon.com I won’t have his bib number until Saturday and might not have access to the internet, but you can search by name. If any of you are in Detroit and have suggestions on how to occupy approximately 6 hours of my time, any thoughts are appreciated. I am likely going to be a nervous wreck the whole day. Text messages will be welcome distractions!
Still. It’s hard for me. That may make me the bad guy. That may make me selfish. But that’s just too effing bad. I’m so proud of him. What he’s doing is amazing and a true inspiration. But as his wife, this sucks and I’ll feel so much better when it’s over.
You can track Mr. Snob on race day, this Sunday, October 19 at www.detroitmarathon.com I won’t have his bib number until Saturday and might not have access to the internet, but you can search by name. If any of you are in Detroit and have suggestions on how to occupy approximately 6 hours of my time, any thoughts are appreciated. I am likely going to be a nervous wreck the whole day. Text messages will be welcome distractions!
Labels: The Journey
6 Comments:
I know you didn't post a complete list of items to pack but I feel compelled to stress CHARGERS, bring the chargers for the phone and the camera. If the race goes fine (and it will) you'll kick yourself if you didn't have the camera charged. If there's a problem (and there won't be, there just won't) you'll need the phone.
Maybe drop a line to Melissa Summers about what to do in Detroit. She's got 2 kids and a husband who runs marathons who she thinks is crazy to do so, she writes SuburbanBliss.net and she writes for MightJunior and MightyHaus so she is usually full of good suggestions. Oh and she lives just outside of Detroit, which is the real reason I'm mentioning her. You could also try Jim at Sweet Juniper, he lives in Detroit and has kids and might have some really creative suggestions. From my limited time in Detroit I would be forced to give you only 2 options a. spend that 6 hours going somewhere else or b. drink heavily.
Kizz, funny you should mention Melissa - I've already been in touch with her! (great minds think alike)
Thanks for the chargers - good catch!
Sweetie, NOTHING about how you're handling this is unreasonable. I'd be a wreck, while at the same time TRYING to trust (my husband, the doctors, the Universe). I can't see a single thing that I'd be doing differently, so just shut out all the condescending voices and go with what YOU need to do, okay?
I'll text. Often.
Oh good! I think Melissa will be a great help. Hope you can have some fun.
My son-in-law is a few days post-chest-cracked-open. He got bypasses but they were unable to repair/replace his mitral valve. Your post is terrificly encouraging that within a not-so-long time he'll be better than before.
Have I ever commented here? I'm a friend of mrschili.
Of course you're not selfish - you're HUMAN. I will totally be vibing for you both on Sunday and am sending hugs and love. In fact, that angel pin will go on my lapel and I'll touch it and think of YOU!
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