Thursday, February 08, 2007
I'm afraid of icicles. Terrified is more appropriate. I can't really tell you why, other than they could fall at any moment, pierce my skull and kill me instantly. Oh, yeah, that's why. I don't remember if that was in a movie or if that happened to someone when I was a kid, but whatever, it doesn't matter. I HATE icicles. I knock them off of anything and struggle with not walking to my neighbors to knock theirs off. Of course, the actual act of knocking them off is full of drama, because HELLO, while knocking them off, I could actually be releasing them to fall, pierce my skull and kill me instantly. So typically, I hold the broomstick by the very end, turn my head away, hide it under my other arm, squeeze my eyes shut, say a little prayer ("Please Lord do not let the newspaper article read "Woman killed by thing she feared the most." Amen.") and start swinging the broomstick all willy nilly hoping to knock down the horrible icicles. Man, have you ever known anyone who needs anti-anxiety meds more than I do? Sheesh.


Anonymous mrschili said...

I'm flirting with a memory I CAN'T QUITE access about a television show (?) movie (?) in which the punchline was that the murder weapon, used much as you describe your fears being based in - melted and the killer got away with it because there was no evidence to prove the criminal guilty.

I guess that fear makes sense. I thought you were talking about the little icicles that grow on the back of your bumper or off the porch railing. Some stalactites of ice CAN get pretty scary looking, and I'm sure they COULD be dangerous, so I'm not going to hassle you about this one (though I would have, if you'd been afraid of the ones that grow off the porch railing.....) :P

Blogger The Grammar Snob said...

While not afraid of those kind, necessarily, I still have to knock them off. Because they could grow into a big one.

Blogger organic mama said...

When I went to college, the main student building was across from this immense stone edifice with a downspout that produced these MAMMOTH icicles. I will easily admit that I never walked even close to that building during nasty ice season. Check out a recent photo at

Anonymous mrschili said...

Oh, MAMA! THAT wasn't very nice! Now the poor girl's going to have NIGHTMARES!

Blogger The Grammar Snob said...

Dear LORD, someone hand me a xanax...did you see those things?? *shiver*

Blogger Kerry said...

like your blog, you're funny.
I hate icicles too, l ol

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