Monday, February 12, 2007
My relationship with my mom has always been good. As the only child, I was granted tremendous responsibility as a young child. With that responsibility came handsome reward. I was a latch-key kid. We lived in a rural town that was safer than anything. By the time I was in 4th grade, my parents left for work before I got up and didn't arrive home til well after I arrived home. I was responsible enough to get up, make my lunch, get dressed, etc. and go outside to catch the bus. When I arrived home, I would have a snack, watch some TV, do homework and whatever project the day called for (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc.). This was all perfectly normal for me. I thrived in that environment and recall very little drama in the household when I was a kid. Because I was responsible and a general good kid (!!!), I pretty much got anything I asked for. The good news is I didn't really ask for much. My mom and I were very close and I don't ever remember being overly embarrassed by her. All kids are at one point or another embarrassed by their parents. It happens.

Anyway, as I grew up, went to college, dropped out of college and made a series of let's call "less than smart" decisions, my mom never faltered. She was there, backed off when I needed her to, picked up the pieces of my shattered heart, pride, whatever when I needed her to. Many times without a word, no lecture, nothing. She knew that often times I would punish myself so badly in my head that there was no need to say anything more.

For the last year or so, she's been struggling with several issues and I ignored them. I got defensive when she'd say things. Things that were not entirely meant that way. Some were, and normally we could have discussed them like we always have. But because she's unhappy at her job and then my dad and she both have been hospitalized, along with a string of "less than smart" financial decisions on her part - well, communication hasn't really been our strength. We've bickered more these past months more than I ever remember.

I'm getting to the point, soon, I promise.

Recently, I'm trying to be better at remembering this: We all have our crosses to bear. We always (or, more accurately, I always) assume ours is the heaviest, most burdensome. But you know what? No. Mine is heavy in my own way, yes. But so is yours. And so is my Mom's.

Tomorrow is her birthday. Yesterday we spent the day shopping, having lunch and watching a movie. What a perfect day we had and what a perfect movie for us to see. Because I Said So is the perfect mother/daughter movie. We laughed, oh we laughed. And somehow we said everything we needed to say without saying anything at all.


Anonymous mrschili said...

I envy your relationship with your mother; for all its struggles, it sounds like a good, strong, healthy one. Treasure that, and do everything you can to foster it between you and Booger. Speaking as someone who doesn't have it - and had to go out and FIND a mother - I can tell you how desperately important that kind of relationship is.

Post a Comment

<< Home