The world according to Booger

Here I've been thinking this whole time the world, well, you know, revolved around me. Oh my how I was mistaken. My daughter, in all her new Princess Ariel nightgown glory turned to me the other night and said....
"Your pleasure, my highness."

Uh, Anna, sweetie, it's supposed to be "My pleasure, your highness."
"No, momma, it's YOUR pleasure."

Put me right in my place, she did.

Catching up....

Stress. Mucho stresso. Like, I might actually have a nervous breakdown right in front of everyone stress. Stress, as such, so that every other word flowing from my lips is fuck. (well, okay, that might not be stress, that’s just normal.) The big problem, however? Not the stress. It’s that I kinda sorta LIKE it. I’ve actually always been like this. It’s difficult to explain, but for you, my dear friends inside cyberspace, I shall try. If there is no stress, no deadline, no…..has to get done today or you’re going to get fired. If there is none of that than nothing gets done. It can allllllllll wait until tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or really….until it has to get done or I’ll get fired, or go to mommy jail, or am out of clean underwear. Whatever. I’m a deadline girl. A schedule lover. A planner. Need a time, a place, an activity, SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

I have a project or two (okay, 4) in the works for a couple upcoming parties. I was so going to have them done already. Have all the stuff to do them and I even started the project. Problem is, I don’t need the first one of them for 2 ½ weeks. So, I know, I KNOW I’ll be up all night the night before cramming to get them done. Adrenaline, I am her slave.

Other than that, Booger and her Poppa have been attending swimming lessons this week, free (!) at the YMCA. I am going to try to go tonight to take some pictures and to watch her swallow water and hopefully not sink to the bottom of the pool.

We played tennis last night at the park. (Look at me….I’m hyperlinking!!! Hooray!!!) So fun. Several of us came out. Can’t say MB’s presence wasn’t missed, but knowing she’s doing well is consolation enough. Anyway – back to tennis. I should regale you with stories of beating Roy and BJ ALONE….JUST ME. Me against them and I won!!!! Fair and square (mostly). But you probably wouldn’t believe me, so whatever. I so did. Just ask them. They better not lie :-)

Hair follies

Holy great gobs of frizz! I had my old hair dryer for at least 10 years. I knew it and it knew me. It dried my hair…on high…at the rapid rate of about 25 minutes. Rapid, of course, being a relative term. But, I was cool with this because the end result was not-too-frizzy, not-too-Donna-Summerish, curls. So I was willing to sacrifice the 25 minutes and found ways to occupy my time during the drying. I sat at my desk and surfed the net. Ideal hair-drying location? Likely, no. But so what? It worked for us. My old hair dryer was on it’s last leg for at least 6 months. The handle would get so hot I couldn’t hold it, and sometimes after I turned it off, it would actually smoke. I needed a new dryer. I knew this. And a couple months ago, I finally broke down and bought one. This, after several failed attempts at doing so. I would go….ready to buy….dial my friend Vanessa’s number while standing in front of the Hair Dryer Buffet. “Which one, do you think? Ceramic, Ionic, 3 temperature settings, 1875W, 1600W, cool shot, retractable cord…..ARH HAIR DRYER MELTDOWN. Never mind, I’ll just wait til this one actually dies.” I was not to be beaten by this, so I did actually buy a hair dryer. We’ll discuss the features in a moment, but first, let us discuss the price. $24.99. For something that sucks in air (that I already own), heats it up, then blows it out. I don’t know, spending $248 on a new handbag I can do, but 25 bucks on a hair dryer? Painful. So very painful. I bought a Revlon 1875W Mercedes Benz of a Hair Dryer. It has 3 temperature setting and 2 speeds. Or so it said on the box. It does, in fact have 3 temperature settings, but they are not hot, warm, and cool. Oh, no. They are INFERNO, FLAME, and SMOLDER. In only 2 months since my purchase my hair dryer has turned into an electric blow torch. It gets so hot the coils on the inside are bright red. WTF? I cut 3 ½ inches of hair off and I’m still wearing out hair dryers in two months? This simply will not do. My hair, though now dry in a mere seven minutes, looks frighteningly like Carrot Top’s. Like I don’t have enough esteem issues as it is. So sad. Oh, my kingdom for my old hair dryer back.

Things that drive me crazy

People who give you their phone number like this: four ten seventy six twenty nine.

Spelling is so fun!

I'm sitting here watching the National Spelling Bee. ON LIVE TELEVISION! How fucking cool is that? These kids rock, man! They're so cute. The last home-schooled kid just missed his word, I think he finished 7th. Pretty good, no? This one poor kid has DORK all but written on his forehead. I mean, really. Couldn't someone, anyone tell him not to part his hair just above his ear. This look? Never gonna get you any action. I'm just saying. There are two girls who are very cute. I'm so happy to see cute smart girls! And they're like 14. All 8th graders left....man it's funny how the girls have by far surpassed the boys in maturity. The girls are so cute and the guys are such dorks. What? They are. I'm not biased, just reporting the facts. (Girls rule, maybe I am biased, so what.)

The word right now: Shedu. I had it as Schedu. So, I'm out.