Recovery

First, thank you just doesn't seem like enough. Your thoughts, prayers, karmic intersessions...they all provided me with comfort and strength, so thank you.

The great news is all of his arteries are clear. HOORAY!!! The not-so-great news is that his bicuspid aortic valve is leaking more than they thought and the valve replacement surgery we expected to be sometime in the far distant future looks to be upon us much sooner. We're meeting again with the cardiologist in 2 weeks to get a game plan in place. Not sure if that will require more testing or just picking a valve and scheduling surgery(Mr. Snob has requested a Porsche valve, but I'm pretty sure that won't be an option.)

We'll take things as they come. That's all we can do. Right?

Mr. Snob was diagnosed a few years ago with a congenital heart defect in his aortic valve. He is in the best shape of his life, runs regularly and is, you know, a really good person. He has stress tests every year or 2 depending on the cardiologist's opinion. He had a stress test Monday. They didn't like the results of the test and show an area of his heart that doesn't seem to be getting enough oxygen. So, we have a cardiac cath scheduled for Friday.

His parents are on vacation for 2 more weeks halfway across the globe, his sister left to join them and isn't due back for a month. I am trying to remain positive and know it's "routine" to do these types of procedures. Except I don't DO routine. I run things through my head 4 million times and can not EVER let anything go. Especially now. Especially since I have had a bad feeling about this goddamned stress test since Saturday and look - I was right. I don't WANT to be right. I want to be wrong. And calm. And stop crying. But I can't. And it sucks.

I need to be strong and I will, but this waiting part sucks so bad. How can you not question your worth when you can't make the person you love stop hurting?

I'll probably pull this post down, but needed to write it down somewhere. Pray for me, friends. And for Mr. Snob. He's the best person I know.

Ten Things Tuesday - Commencement Edition

We had the privilege of attending the Commencement Exercises for THEE Ohio State University on Sunday.

It was a gorgeous day and wonderful ceremony. William Jefferson Clinton was the commencement speaker and he nailed it. He has always been an eloquent speaker and the speechwriter (come on, we all know he didn't actually write it) was spot on. Enough OSU stuff, current events, own-horn-tooting, and go change the world shit to make everyone stand and cheer.

I'll make the rest of weekend summary in list form since it is Tuesday and Tuesday, my dear friends is Ten Things Tuesday. (Oh, alliteration, how much do I love you?)

1. The official name for the university is The Ohio State University. It is pronounced THEE and they relish in adding the THEE and use it any time they can. Welcome to THEE Ohio State University. Congratulations from THEE Ohio State University. It is a bit silly, but it appears I am THEE only one who thinks so.

2. Their little rally song is "Hang On Sloopy." For which they add in "O-H-I-O" with large YMCA style arm movements. They also do the O-H-I-O flailing arm thing at the end of the Alma Mater. THEE Ohio State University seems to relish in the fact that Ohio is not only easy to spell, but looks good as an interpretive dance.

3. Black graduation gowns are not middle of June with no shade in sight friendly.

4. 3 inch heels are not a good idea when you have to climb stadium stairs. I am glad I did not wear mine, but felt bad for the many who did.

5. The Secret Service looked horribly uncomfortable. Especially considering there were probably 40,000 people there and we just walked in. No checkpoint, no metal detector, nothing. Didn't even need a ticket. Just ambled in off the street.

6. The motorcade was disappointing. 3 cars. Lame.

7. The Sugar Bar we went to Saturday night was quite entertaining. Happily, I was not the oldest person there. Sadly, I may or may not have missed the second step on the way out and have a glorious bruised ankle. I swear I stepped on something...a bottle, or glass or something that caused me to miss my footing. It had nothing to do with the beer. I think.

8. Hanging out with Mr. Snob's family is seventeen kinds of fun. I adore all of them.

9. I am too old to be out until 4:15 A.M. to then get up before 8 and have a full day of frivolity. But the fact that they invited me to go in the first place makes it all worthwhile.

10. Booger continues to amaze me in the fact that she can sit still for 3 1/2 hours and manage to still have a good time.

I'll post some pics soon. Have a few that are good enough to share!

Karma is a funny, funny thing

The other day I was driving along the access road (I almost put rear access road, but that just sounds bad!) for the shopping center. There were two birds in the road, smack dab in the middle of my lane. They sure looked like they were deep in the throes of passionate love making. I slowed down....way down....and thought surely they would move. Um, no. They didn't. And I hit them. Both of them. They were clearly not living, let alone having any more passionate avian sex when I saw them in my rear view mirror. They died a quick, and let's hope pain-free death. I haven't decided if this event will result in good Karma or bad Karma. On one hand, what better way to go, right? Quickly and while having mad passionate sex. On the other hand, have I interrupted their fate of mating and creating the greatest bird offspring to ever live? What if the bird they were (possibly) conceiving was going to be the bird that helped the CDC create a vaccine for Avian Flu? What then? Then? I am fucked. Pardon the pun.

Ten Things

I am such a schedule girl. Not having one is completely fucking me up. I'm going to make a list of crap that needs done and I just need to do it. I've been on the go almost every single day and often joke that I don't have time for job. For this week's ten things, I think I'll use the list to work through things I've accomplished and things still unfinished. Maybe, just maybe, it'll act as some motivation.

1. I bought new running shoes yesterday. I'll start using them today.

2. Still vacuuming. A lot. A very lot. Though I need to dust a bit more.

3. 5 1/2 garbage bags full of shredded paper resulted from cleaning the office. Almost done!

4. Rearranged Booger's room in preparation for new bed. Will bed shop next week.

5. Need to go get paint samples for kitchen. Also need to decide if I'm painting the cabinets.

6. Garage is a mess. Haven't worked my way up to tackling it yet.

7. Toenails freshly painted. (hot pink) Fingernails progressing along....should be ready for paint soon.

8. Resume complete. Still working on cover letter(s). I think they are so unnecessary, but whatever.

9. Car is washed! (Thanks, Mr. Snob)

10. I promise to update more. Plan on dedicating no less than 30 minutes a day to writing....something, anything.

Hope you are all well. I miss you! :-)

Reflection

I've spent the better part of the morning shredding, sorting and filing things in my five drawer filing cabinet. I have 4 1/2 bags of shredded paper. Funny how I can't find my favorite lipstick, but would you like to see this cancelled check from 1999? It's right here. (well, was.)

Anyway, I found a folder of long-lost poetry written by me during my teen years. I wrote alot of poetry during that time, and only kept....ah, there might be 25 or so here. Typically, they are all rhyming and pretty structured. I had a thing about rhyming and often even used it during school papers...yeah, I know. Freak.

I read through them today and recall how easily it was for me to just sit down and write. How much better I felt after writing.

I'll share one with you that's not rhymed or structured (it's less embarrassing)...it's not dated, though I assume it's late 80's.

I Am

I am the wind
That sweeps the trees.
The wind that tousles a child's hair.
A wind that comes,
A wind that goes.

I am fire.
The fire that burns.
The fire that warms.
A fire to light,
A fire to extinguish.

I am the pure, wind driven snow.
As white and soft as can be.
As cold and bitter I may be.
Lightly falling,
Slowly drifting,
Melting.

I am a person,
In between these walks of nature.
A person to love.
To hate.
A person who cares.
A person who angers.
Someone special.

I am time.
Never ending.

I am beyond imagination.
I am always there.