Friday, September 28, 2007
Grammar Snob Attacks!
I know that you will be shocked when I tell you poor grammar drives be batshit crazy. (I know, you are sitting there shocked.)

Today, on the radio, I heard a dj say "I could care less." What they meant, of course, was "I couldn't care less." If they could care less, they likely wouldn't feel the need to tell you about it.

Another one that simply makes my skin crawl:

~Ain't. It is so not a word. For example: let's consider the word let's. It is a shortened version of let us. It is a contraction, if you would like to correct grammar term. Another example is don't. Don't=do not. Using these examples, ain't=ai not. So there. As my mother used to say, "Ain't ain't a word." There are all sorts of arguments against my position on ain't, but I stand by my opinion.

What are your grammar pet peeves?


Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Ten Things Tuesday
Hi! I've been out running a bunch of errands and keep seeing things that make me say "Well, DUH!" So, why not make a list! Ten Things - WTF edition.

1. A Scion XB with personalized plates "SCION XB." Duh. What happens when you wreck it and have to buy a new one? Just asking.

2. You know those magnetic ribbon things for the back of your car? Like the support the troops? Today I saw one that said "Support Lapdances." Yep.

3. SUV with Texas plates and a sticker that said "Don't mess with Texas." The license plate frame said "License to Knit."

4. Our neighbor cut their front lawn with a weed wacker. Looks awful. Of course, it's the same neighbor who's glasses are held in place with a twist-tie, so I guess I should not be surprised.

5. The front end cashier-in-charge at Target going off on the new girl. Berating her in front of everyone about how the extra bags under the register were not organized and this simply would not do. Must. Fix. Now.

6. On a similar note, those stupid fucking walkie talkies the employees use at Target. Everyone seems to have one and they are always turned up so loud. Just use the effing PA system. Sheesh.

7. My car. She doesn't seem to want to start all the time. Hopefully when she goes to the doctor on Friday, he can fix her right up.

8. The parents who have to arrive at school a full 30 minutes early just to be first in line to pick up their precious children. I've arrived as early as 15 minutes ahead and already been at the back of the line.

9. My daughter has puppy feet. Seriously, I can't keep the kid in shoes. Not 6 for 2 more months and already wearing a size 13.

10. I have a meeting tomorrow with a local college. About enrolling. To take classes. To get a degree. I am excited and petrified. Last time I tried college I was 18 and knew everything. Except it turned out that I knew absolutely nothing. I thought college would be just like HS - show up and get good grades. Grades were never a thing for me in HS. I'd show up, listen in class, study for 5 minutes before a test and get a 3.6 average. I was never challenged and didn't really ever challenge myself. So by not challenging myself in college...well, it was a disaster. Getting a degree, even if I'm looking at starting with a 2 year degree, means so much to me. I need to prove to myself I can do it. And yet, I'm so scared. Dear Lord, how am I going to function being the "granny" of the class? I will be 35 by the time school starts and in class with 18 year olds. Sheesh.

(bonus extra #11 for you today)
11. WHEN THE FUCK DID I TURN (ALMOST) 35?!?!? Holy mother, where does the time go?


Wednesday, September 19, 2007
And Crown My Hood
Life with a Kindergartener is like living at a comedy club. Now, Booger has always been funny. Yes, at 5 years old, I can honestly say she's always been funny. She has a very contagious laugh and has such a knack for comedy. The fun thing for me is that she's not always funny on purpose.

She loves to tell jokes with no punch line, then proceeds to crack up laughing. Oh, and farting is the funniest thing ever.

In class, they are learning the lyrics to America The Beautiful. It's long and I mean really, even I screw up the lyrics sometimes! The other day she was singing it to us and sang this:

"...and crown my hood with brotherhood...."

My kid is funny.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007
A small thing
I received this from a friend today.

Take the 2 1/2 minutes to check it out, won't you?

I have an interview today and am very excited with the possibilities it brings. I'll have more later, depending on how it goes....wish me luck!

I don't know why I'm questioning myself and this interview. Everything I've needed over the last 4 months has happened. Things I didn't know I needed happened. I know I'm waiting for it all to blow up in my face, but it's not going to. I have finally put my faith to the test and will be rewarded. Perhaps not in the way that I immediately think is best or right. But I will be rewarded. Hell, I already have. The rest is just icing on the cake.

I have a totally new perspective on life. A totally new appreciation for my life.

Thursday, September 06, 2007
The Journey - R's version
R mentioned that he wanted to work on his version of The Journey. I'm gonna post what he has so far. He asked me to pass along his continued gratitude for your love and support. He's read all your comments from the last couple months and we are both so comforted by them. I'll apologize for any grammatical issues, I can't read it again just yet.

First and foremost, I would not be here without Amy’s love and support. I could not care for myself at all the first month I was home, and Amy has done everything for me. I have seen what undying love really is. I am eternally grateful. I am a witness. God has more plans for me. Thank you also to all the folks who caused hospital traffic, who sent the funny as hell cards, (the ‘FAKER’ card was great!), all the phone calls and visits were really kind. I realize that people have busy lives, and to take time out for me was really nice. Thank you very much. It means the world to me for people to actually take time out to visit or call. The best thing one can do is to give someone a piece of your time. It is priceless. Before I start spewing out fortune cookie blurbs, one more time, Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Moving up to a room.

I do remember a lot from that day, believe it or not. From 1pm Thursday to 1am Friday I know nothing. From 1am on, I remember a lot. I do remember a white light. It was quiet. Peaceful. No voices, or faces. Just a white bright light. Then I heard someone calling my name. One of the nurses, Tara, had woke me up. They were very sweet. Every time they tried to talk to me, they would hold my hand. That was very comforting. I couldn't talk yet because the vent tube was still down my throat. I was half in half out of it. Some from the sleepiness, a lot from the anesthesia. I did feel a lot of the pain. A lot. One of the first things the nurses did was wipe me down. I guess I had iodine all over. All up in my business. It didn't click right away, but it was a bit awkward. It did feel nice. But then they had to wipe down all my cracks and crevices . Awk-ward! I couldn't roll over so they had other folks come turn me on my side to get my back. I can still remember the nurses talking smack about co-workers while they were wiping me up. I don’t remember what was said, but at one point something funny was said and I started giggling (moving my shoulders up and down.) The other male in the room asked if I could hear them, and I nodded. My eyesight was a little off at the time. I’m guessing because of the anesthesia, and were probably taped shut during the surgery. As the night went on, the nurses kept talking to me, asking me to move my toes and squeeze their hands. My toes could move fine, but I had problems squeezing. What I really wanted was the vent tube out of my throat. So the more I became awake, the more I wanted the tube out. It was kinda choking me. I also remembered that Amy was very concerned about getting me off the vent. The nurses asked me if I could lift my head. Couldn’t do it. They said that for the tubes to be taken out, I had to lift my head on my own. Every few minutes Tara would come by do other things (vitals, toes, head, shoulder, knees and toes) and ask me again to lift my head. No can do. “Keep tryin” Tara would say. My neck muscles were on vacation in the Philippines. As time went on, Tara would hold my hand, and ask me if I could lift my head. After the 99th try (who’s counting?) I eventually lifted my head what felt like 2 inches. Barely. “Good job” they said. Hoo- frickin- ray the tube is coming out! Tara said don’t swallow whatever comes out of your mouth. So they had to turn me after the tube exit. I’m like, ok no problem. I thought the tube was just long enough to go down my throat. Little did I know that the tube was as long as the day is bright. On three, they pulled the tube out. I felt the tube come from my stomach out my throat. They turned me on my side and I spit out whatever came out. Num num. Did not get any on me either. Ha ha! Took a deep breath, and the first thing I said was, ‘please call my wife and let her know I’m off the vent.’ It was 5:30am. Amy even said the nurses were really nice. Tara had talked to her earlier and said to call her anytime for updates. How cool is that?

After the shift change at 7am, Sandra was taking care of me. Sandra looked just like one of the gals who worked at the station (Mel) (Hi Mel!). She was super nice too. Sandra told me the chest tubes were the next thing to be pulled out of my ass (chest). These tubes were for drainage I was told. Maybe just in case a flash flood were to happen. Then they shoulda been called irrigation tubes. Anyways… Sandra told me the easiest way to remove these tubes was one motion, and quickly. Cool. I’ve never had tubes, so I trusted her judgement. She told me to exhale on three and she would pull them out. Once again, little did I know how long these tubes were. What felt like a long ass time was actually about two seconds. But that two seconds almost made me pass out. The close your eyes and wince then roll your eyes back to your head pass out. For real. The best way to describe the pain was a combination burning and cutting sensation. burcutt ? I was wide awake for a few seconds, then wanted to go to sleep in the same sentence. Good morning and Good night. This pain was the worst of my hospital stay. From then on, I compared all the needle pokes, stick to your skin like duct tape surgical tape pain to the chest tube removal pain, and there is no comparison. I almost forgot, Sandra took an I.V. out of the right side of my neck too. I’m ready for anything. Almost..

Next they wanted me to sit up in a chair. I can hardly move my neck, and now the chair? Of course two patient transporters came to help me. One at the legs, and the other up top. The first thing I told the one guy was that my breath was kickin like Jackie Chan. He said ‘that’s ok, I have an abscessed tooth’. Damn. Anyone got a tic tac up in here? Finally, sittin up. It was a little dizzy, but I’m halfway there anyways. It was about 10:30am. Our priest came and visited me in the recovery room. That was nice, and scary at the same time. Hey Father!! Hey father… whoa..(am I on the way out??) Then not a few minutes later, the resident chaplain came to visit too! Did someone forget to Cc me the e-mail?! It was nice to have both of the padres to come by while I was still in recovery. I was looking at the entrance to recovery and the doors opened, and there was Amy. With her hand over her mouth, she almost started crying. She began to walk faster and faster as she got closer. I waved with my left I.V. loaded hand. My parents were right behind her. It was like slow motion when I first saw Amy. Like the astronauts walk before takeoff. Only I was the one up in the clouds! I couldn’t talk much. Damn vent tubes. I was only allowed ice chips to eat. Those were some hella good ice chips. I hadn’t had anything to drink or eat since Wednesday night. It was Friday morning. Amy could not wait with me in recovery. We had to meet up in my room, #723. I dosed on and off for the next 5 hours. I was sore. My chest felt like a tank was on it, and all bruised up. My arms weren’t working very well either. By the time I got the green light for my room, it was 5:30pm. Thank goodness. I just wanted to rest. In a hospital? Yeah right.


Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Ten Things Tuesday
Hey there. It's been ages since I've written. Not for lack of material, I promise you. Just sheer lack of energy to write it down.

Once again I'll hide behind the ten things list to catch up on what's going on.

1. Booger started Kindergarten. Can you freaking believe it? We walked with her to the classroom the first day and she's doing well. I tried to tell the teacher she's reading already, but she didn't really want to listen to me. I'm going to let it go for a bit - let her get used to her students....but then, if Booger's not being challenged in school I'll speak to her again. But, it's a Catholic School that we paid a hefty tuition for. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to request they challenge my kid. Right?

2. R began cardiac rehab and is really progressing! I think his pain is more under control and he is doing really great.

3. Still no job leads. I'm starting to get a bit nervous, but trying to remain positive.

4. I'm so relieved for summer to be over. This summer has been hell.

5. As much as I am happy to see summer go away, so many good things have come from all that we have been through. R & I are closer than ever. I am closer with many people and have forged relationships I will cherish for years.

6. My oven is supposed to get fixed today. I can't wait. The stove top works just fine, but the oven has been off-and-on for months. I'm sick and tired of not being able to bake. It's one of the things I do to calm down. I'm giddy with the thought that I can bake something later today!

7. R bought me a Nintendo DS! I am having way too much fun with it for a thirty...uh, something adult! It is so fun! Between Brain Age 2 and The New Super Mario Bros, I'm totally addicted.

8. Booger's running cross country for school! You haven't seen fun until you've seen a bunch of 5 year olds running a race, that's for sure. First meet is Saturday. I'm sure I'll have some great stories by then.

9. My favorite color is blue. But lately, orange is a close second.

10. I have a little crush on both Mike Rowe and Anthony Bourdain.